Crying in H Mart: A Memoir

I generally do not read non-fiction because my primary purpose for reading is escapism. I want to go places and meet people that are far removed from my reality- where I know there will always be a happy ending. So, when a trusted friend suggested Crying in H Mart, I put it on my TBR without reading the synopsis or any reviews. I needed a non-fiction book to to earn a badge for my Prime Reading Spring Challenge, so I decided that this book would check that particular box.I had absolutely no idea just how much I needed to read this emotionally raw and poignant memoir. I have no knowledge of what growing up half-asian child in America feels like. But, as a black child of emigrant parents, I can identify with the disenfranchisement and the longing to fit in which Michelle Zauner so eloquently describes in this novel. As a daughter of a Mother who was brutally honest and lovingly hypercritical, I understood this writer's point of view. As a child whose mother's love language was cooking and serving food to feed as well as heal the soul, I loved experiencing the gastronomic journey Michelle and Chongmi traveled. As an woman who has lost her mother to the beast that is cancer, I appreciated the way that this author laid her most brutally painful feelings and memories bare for us, more than Ms. Zauner will ever know.I found myself reading this book and crying in the booth at Starbucks, overwhelmed with emotions that were latent and unresolved in the almost four years since my mother's death. I felt seen and understood for the first time in so many ways.Michelle Zauner writes with blatant honesty, humor, and humility. Her prose is so lyrical that I found myself flipping back to the cover in oder to make sure I was indeed reading a memoir. Her words are all necessary and cathartic for those who have ever served as care-givers for a treminally ill person. Any one who has had their family dynamic devastated by an unexpected malignant medical diagnosis will appeciate the care and detail that is used by this writer to describe the complete eviscerated that occurs when a loved one succumbs to the ir battle with a terminal disease.Crying in H Mart is a testimony that life and love do not end with the loss of a loved one. It is a true life reminder that the transformative power of love exceeds the human capacity to demonstrate it in mortal ways. I will recommend this book to others because its relevance transcends time and any other parameters influenced when a loved one physically leaves us to live life without them.

Philip Roth opens his memoir Patrimony: A True Story with a long and detailed description of his father's health that sets the stage for what is about to come: "My father had lost most of the sight in his right eye by the time he'd reached eighty-six, but otherwise he seemed in phenomenal health for a man of his age when he came down with what the Florida doctor diagnosed, incorrectly, as Bell's palsy, a viral infection that causes paralysis, usually temporary, to one side of the face." Michelle Zauner does the same, but in a much more concise way: "Ever since my mom died, I cry in H Mart." They are different, but they are the same: they are sparked by pain and suffering, they pay their respects to the ones who have gone and are missed, and they intensely connect with their roots, Jewish and Korean, respectively. And through them, Philip Roth and Michelle Zauner strive to heal their pain, using writing as therapy, no matter how different their success in that endeavor may have been.Michelle Zauner's writing may not be as ornamented as Philip Roth's, but her book is a treat all the same. Crying in H Mart is like listening to a candid confession from a close friend late at night, when everybody else has already left and you stay with her, a glass of wine and many stories. It is intimate, sincere, funny and sad, bittersweet, generously emotional. At the same time, it is also a gastronomic trip: Michelle meticulously uses traditional Korean food to connect and reconnect with her mother and her mother's relatives in Korea, and some descriptions of dishes, ingredients and dish preparations are as detailed as in a recipe book with mouth-watering pictures. There is even an almost literal transcription of one of Maangchi's tutorial videos, specifically the one where she prepares soothing jatjuk. By doing that, I think Michelle also tried to find roots in Asian references: take the Studio Ghibli movies with their beautiful scenes of food preparation, the importance of food in Haruki Murakami's novels or Bong Joon-Ho's movies. From my part, I am now a Maangchi fan.The text is extremely fluid, moving from the main plot involving Michelle's mother to flashbacks of her childhood and adolescence in a very logical and well-connected way. Up to mid-book (when the main plot sort of resolves itself), the text is so thought-of that it even sounds excessively edited--it is like a perfectly engineered, scientifically-paced Hollywood story: there is the punchline at the end of each chapter making reference to an idea cited before and causing a shiver to run up your spine, there's the perfect pacing from funny and comfy moments to describing delicious Korean food and then back to dramatic scenes, there is suspense and plot twists, all smooth and seamless. The last half of the book loses some of its stamina (except for a poignant scene at her parents-in-law's house in Bucks County, all Cinema Paradiso-like), but it is still charming, lyrical and beautiful.Philip Roth concludes his memoir concisely and in a rather bitter tone, with a short and dry sentence: "You must not forget anything." Michele grants us with a fluid, energetic and dreamlike last scene in a karaoke (noraebang), whose atmosphere made me think of Bill Murray and Scarlett Johanson in the karaoke scene in Lost in Translation, a strange simultaneous state of happiness and sadness. Indeed, this book is a testimony of Michelle's own "finding herself in translation", a funny feeling of being awkwardly out of context but even so pertaining, which is why this book seems to have resonated so much with many mixed-race children. Michelle trying her best to sing along Pearl Sister's Coffee Hanjan with her aunt Nami is indeed a beautiful image to conclude and summarize her search for her own identity by not denying but strengthening her Korean roots.

Excelente libro muy sensorial a los aromas y sabores

Vogue calls this book 'deeply necessary'; I raise that and also call it long overdue. Crying in H Mart doesn't use the over-analyzing, ponderous prose that so many books about cancer and death do; instead, it is refreshingly modern. Zauner skillfully takes us through her mother's diagnosis, the stages of her cancer and her eventual death. But she never loses touch with herself or gets swallowed whole by it all; instead, she somehow manages to grow personally and professionally.While death is one of the worst things we face, it doesn't have to be all-consuming. Zauner channelled so many emotions as she prepared the meals of her Korean heritage and, in turn, shared this with her readers through a lyrical writing style.We also learn about her fascinating extended family, fraught relationship with her father, rise as an indie rock musician, and the founding of Japanese Breakfast. Still, somehow, the book never overwhelms the reader.Every culture deals with grief differently. People generalize that Europeans, particularly the British, are cold, especially in times of extreme sadness; this is far from true. There is nothing wrong with the fact that many of us grieve privately over a cup of tea and Peak Freans biscuits, but I will admit that might not be the copy for a good memoir.Crying in H Mart holds nothing back, so if you are going through someone's cancer battle or are still raw from a recent death, this might not be the best book for you, but when you are ready, Zauner's words will bring some pain, some laughter, some soul searching and in the end like the author you will emerge stronger.Michelle Zauner wanted 'to make the ordinary beautiful', and she succeeded.

A capa comum não é muito boa, ela tem um material bem molinho. O livro é perfeito, Michele zauner é perfeita 💖

Beautifully written, has you crying and emotional but turning every page, haven’t read a book I related to and enjoyed this much in years

Crying in H Mart” by Michelle Zauner is a poignant memoir that delves into the intricate layers of identity, grief, and the profound dynamics of mother-daughter relationships. Zauner’s writing skillfully captures the essence of her Korean heritage, weaving a narrative that is both emotionally charged and beautifully articulated.The memoir takes readers on a compelling journey through the author’s experiences, exploring the depths of loss, the complexities of love, and the profound impact of cultural roots. Zauner’s ability to convey raw and authentic emotions makes each page resonate with a deep sense of honesty. As she navigates the challenges of her personal journey, readers are drawn into a narrative that is not just about individual experiences but also about the broader themes of self-discovery and acceptance.The richness of Zauner’s storytelling lies in her vivid descriptions and the palpable emotions she conveys. From the aisles of H Mart to the complexities of grief, every aspect of the narrative is infused with a sense of authenticity. “Crying in H Mart” is more than a memoir; it’s a powerful exploration of the human experience and the universal quest for belonging. This book is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and a poignant reminder of the importance of embracing one’s roots in the journey of self-discovery.