Trailing: A Memoir

Kristin Duncombe’s memoir, Trailing, is riveting from the start. I was propelled into her overseas world of East Africa when she and her husband are shockingly forced off the road by unscrupulous carjackers …We meet the author as she’s finishing up college. She tells of how she grew up in “exotic” countries due to her father’s military career. Duncombe meets and falls in love with an Argentinian doctor. We are told while she longs for stability, she marries into a life of constant flux and insecurity.The author and her spouse, a Medicins Sans Frontiers doctor, first travel to Nairobi then to Uganda and finally to Paris, France to live. She skillfully weaves details of local life, the MSF team and her emotions together. I had to keep turning the pages!I was drawn by her honesty and the ability to capture tiny, seemingly insignificant, details of life abroad but ones that made me feel like I was there. She’s transparent and relatable, alternately sharing her failures and successes as she tries find her rightful place as a professional and a wife, too. I could picture myself sitting across the table and chatting with her!Both the story and her storytelling ability make it a clear 5-star memoir in my book!

I had never heard the term "trailing", although I've been a trailing wife. This book covers an entire gamut of feelings, including the loss of a support network from the distance from all family and friends upon moving, loss of your personal identity, loss of self esteem and a feeling of lessened validity in thoughts, speaking and actions. This story covers several re-locations before children, after having a child, then a second. Having lived an in-transit childhood Kristin is quite in tune to ensuring her children have a home base, a structured life, then to move again. What we call "Doctors Without Borders" (and I support this organization) is an all consuming humanitarian mission that in itself unconsciously marginalizes the "relatively not so urgent" thoughts and needs of the spouse at home in relation to the insurmountable needs in the hurting world, The need to be there while those at home need to "make do". The proactive action by Kristin to find something to do to maintain her feeling of self worth and provide value to her communities serves her needs greatly. The friends she makes help enormously in obtaining a realization of balance in her life in the world. Very Glad to have read this book, I was 35 the first time I decided where I was going to move to my own. This was so fascinating I also just finished "Five Flights Up", the next book.

Some might find "Trailing: A Memoir" depressing, but I found it thought-provoking and very inspiring.In a nutshell, "Trailing" is the story of Kristin Louise Duncombe, who as a young wife gave up plans of her own professional life to follow her husband, a Medecins Sans Frontieres (MSF) doctor, to East Africa - first Kenya and then Uganda. To anyone who has followed a spouse to an overseas assignment and put their own career on hold, or even gave up on it altogether, this story will ring very true. It doesn't matter where you've been posted to - although, having lived in Africa as a trailing spouse myself, it was particularly vivid for me. The issues so grippingly described in "Trailing" - of losing your identity, not knowing your purpose in life, and dealing with an evolving relationship that by necessity gets refashioned in every new place you live - will speak to anyone who has hitched their wagon to someone else's ambition. If you've made it your main purpose in life to stay home and raise a family while lending support to a spouse who is the main breadwinner and whom you therefore follow from assignment to assignment, no questions asked, you will find something of yourself in Kristin's saga.In some stretches Kristin sounds a bit whiney: She was not every open-minded towards her new home, was too readily spooked, and might have made things much easier by being less self-absorbed. At least that was my impression. But then again she was only in her twenties and newly-married. In any case, even if you feel like you might not have made the same choices in Kristin's situation, her story still speaks powerfully to anyone who's ever doubted their own choices regarding career, marriage, and child-rearing.You don't even have to move abroad to wonder where your life has led you and whether you've become what you wanted to be.

Kristin Duncombe's memoir about her marriage and travels to East Africa with her husband, a Medecins Sans Frontieres (MSF) doctor in an interesting read. Kristin is a very open and honest writer who doesn't sugar coat the difficulties she had with her adjustments in this foreign land or her difficulties in her marriage to a husband who is seldom present, mentally and physically. While she openly admits her own short-comings in the relationship, I couldn't help but sympathize with her predicament. Kristin becomes more settled when they move to Uganda and she is able to find a job of her own. I enjoyed this author's style of writing and her humor. Once finished, I moved on to her second installment, "Five Flights Up."

Lots covered in this well written Memoir. The author - after falling in love with a Médecins Sans Frontières doctor became a 'trailing wife' (following and supporting her husband to and around East Africa) - Due to the nature of Tano's work she is left on her own for some long periods of time… often feels unsafe - is it 'really' the life for her - she tries so hard to make a career for herself as well as being a mum and getting on with the whole MSF 'family'… Life can take some curved roads at times - the author tells us in this Memoir what happened to her and her husband Tano. It's an exciting read - interesting too because it covers, albeit in short bursts, different areas in Africa, the danger, excitement and not least the work that MSF does in order to help those suffering some awful diseases - as I say lots covered but it's covered well. It was a 'page-turner' for me.

I have read quite a few memoirs set in Africa recently, and Trailing is by far the best. Kirsten Louise Duncombe writes seemlessly about her life and experiences as a "trailing wife" following her husband in his work with "Medicine Without Frontiers" through East Africa, whilst trying to carve out a career and identity for herself. It was as if Kirsten was there telling me the story with me listening, experiencing her terror, anxiety and doubts, standing by the side of her and her husband Tano as they battled through the real and ever present dangers that defined working in Africa. A well written, edited and formatted book, a great read and a triumphant debut memoir.

I really enjoyed reading this book. I've been interested in MSF work for several years and have been to Nairobi a couple of times, so I felt this was a book I could learn from, to get an insider's view of life in a quite challenging environment. It's very well written and trucks along. It deals with relationship issues, character development, parenthood, depression, all set in a turbulent and very different part of the world. Relationships are usually interesting too, and this one is no exception. I came away with a liking and respect for the author and her husband; two very different people who struggled to maintain their relationship and their individuality in a world that was miles away from anything I'd experienced in the soft underbelly of middle class England.

this is a wonderful book about a woman who followed her husband to a life in a challenging part of the world. what i expected to be a good story ended up being far more than that. the author chose to write about the difficulties of a cross cultural marriage, her own, and opened up her personal diary, in a way, to let us see how she dealt with the ups and downs of relationships. any person can relate to this book about life, career, kids, marital bliss (or not), unsafe living conditions and differences in how to pursue inner peace that we all face if we are dealing with other human beings. which most of us are. to me, it stopped being about living abroad shortly after i started reading it and started being about how to choose to act and react in a marriage. in today's times many spouses find themselves in a position of moving for the other one's career. this book addresses the subject in an unforgettable way. by the end i wanted to cheer both the main characters for their decisions.

If you've ever wondered what it might be like to be the married partner of an expat working in Africa, you will find the answer here. In the case of the author (Kristin Louise Duncombe), her husband is a doctor working for Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF), one of the most demanding expat jobs going ('part Red Cross, part Indiana Jones'). I was drawn into the story from page one, when Kristin and her husband Tano are brutally carjacked in Nairobi. How a nice American girl got to this situation and what happened subsequently, makes for an enthralling read, told with great feeling and humour. Grappling with everyday life in an African country may be hard but saving a marriage turns out to be harder. This is not the story of a doormat though. As Kristin asserts herself and seeks her own purpose in life, it becomes an inspirational tale.

As with a lot of the other reviewers I couldn't put this book down. Very insightful and hopefully an encouragement to anyone who has experienced trauma that counselling is a must to aid recovery. Filled with genuine emotions about a love hate relationship with a spouse and their career. A thrilling read from cover to cover which makes me feel a little less guiltless about my mundane life and my choice to live vicariously through people like Kristin who chose a life more extraordinary.

I really connected with Louise's honest and revealing account of her life as an accompanying (trailing) spouse. I have personal experience of the perils of this sort of life. The author has a good understanding of the loss of self and suspension of personal dreams that are so often experienced in this nomadic style of living. She describes the highs and lows of her specific period of time in Africa and how she managed to recover from the esteem issues that many of us can identify with when we do not follow our 'missions'. This book will appeal to expatriates and non-expatriates alike sending out a message that it is worth the fight to live our dreams. Worth a read!

Nothing like I expected but the memoir is a very personal account of the impact on relationships whilst trailing. The writer very bravely and frankly relates her own experiences which culminates in the success of her own career helping others. A must book for those who wish to understand the dedication of foreign aid workers.

A superb book as Kristin goes to Africa at such a young age .A very well written and enthralling story!Well done Kristin!! Keep writing!

Dunscombe's book opens with a scene that could have taken place anywhere in many places in sub-Saharan Africa, including South Africa where I am from (now living in England). Against the gripping backdrop of the work that Medicines Au Frontieres does in Africa, she follows her 'cowboy' into the unknown and in the process loses herself. But only for a while. A very brave book.

Having been in the peace corps I identified with some of the frustrations of living in a third world country. And being a trailing spouse, there again, identified. The story is a well written, humorous and there is plenty to discuss with book club friends. Well done!

Good story well told

Trailing is THE book for anyone who ever wondered what it would be like to live a fascinating, romantic, exciting life overseas. Kristin tells the tale of an American girl (I purposely do not say woman -- she is 26 at the beginning of the book, but is definitely a woman by the end) who marries a DOCTOR, a HUMANITARIAN who FIGHTS DISEASE in AFRICA. Her husband is a dark, handsome, fearless, dedicated, brilliant Argentinian, one of the men who won the Nobel Peace Prize for Medecins sans Frontieres. So what's wrong with this picture? Why isn't she happy? Kristin weaves her experiences in Kenya and Uganda, the car jacking, the knifing of a co-worker in a Kampala hotel, the sense of pervading fear, of not belonging, of forging friendships and finding herself and creating a profession and a future for herself and her family. She is a great storyteller, and her book will inform, entertain and inspire you.

Trailing is an honest soul-searching memoir that strikes the right balance between humor and seriousness.The geographical settings and the context of accompanying a Médecins Sans Frontières spouse enhanced Duncombe's story to be far more than an individual's personal story-- she effectively weaves cultural, political and humanitarian issues into her evolution as a wife and a mother establishing a career and defining herself.The author is particularly crafty in describing the various colorful personalities in her life during her journey that stretches from the US to Africa and Europe.Duncombe's insights on relationships and human nature will leave you at times pensive and at times laughing, but always provoke that "inner nod" of understanding.

Excellent, quick read. The author pulled me in immediately and kept me right with her til the end. A must-read for anyone intrigued by adventure, travel, new experiences, Africa, MSF, Paris and marriage.... I can't say I felt any of the "depression" that two other reviewers mentioned. It's true that the book took an honest look at social issues inside developing countries, inside the organizations that are meant to help those countries (for better or worse) and inside a rocky marriage. But I felt the author managed to show the redeeming side of all three by the end of the book. I highly recommend it.